‘Twas the Ride Before Christmas

Twas the ride before Christmas, and all through the pack,
not a rider was talking, not even in back!

The leaders were surging; "we'll drop them," they laughed;
but the pack just tucked lower; and hung in their draft.

The bunch was all quiet, and gasping for air,
their buddies were dropping, thou' they gave not a care.

And my teammate and I, now pushing the pace higher,
were just getting ready, to launch a new flyer.

When somewhere in back, there arose such a clatter,
I thought I should look, to see what was the matter.

Under my arm, I glanced with a frown,
almost expecting, to see riders go down.

The glare of the sunlight, on the asphalt below,
gave to the paceline, a luminous glow.

When, what to my watering, eyes should appear,
but a guy on an S-Works, with elec-tronic gear.

With a powerhouse rider, tucked low on the bike,
I knew in a moment, we were in for a fight.

He pushed on the pedals, and lept on ahead;
"I’m taking this Hot Spot," then he did what he said.

Now Daniel, now Jaden, now Woody, and Ray!
On Howard, on Brian, on Matt and VJ!

Up the left came the paceline, and out went the call,
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As dry leaves that 'fore, the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the break, 'way the coursers they flew,
with a whole string of riders, and Ice Cream Man too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard a light thump,
The delicate shifting, of one soon to jump.

As I reached out to shift, and was turning around,
Right down the middle, Rob came with a bound.

He was dressed in a skinsuit, from his head to his toe,
And he opened a gap, that made us look slow.

He spun up the gear, too big for the track,
And he looked like a madman, as he glared at the pack.

His eyes how they dared us, to take up the chase.
and the riders up-shifted, to match his cruel pace!

He veered to the left, to get a clean line,
and the pack got strung-out, for the twentieth time;

The riders were closing, the gap he had done,
but many were dropping, off one after one.

The pack came together, now elbow-to-belly,
it shook and it wiggled, like a bowl full of jelly.

The riders were having, some jolly old fun,
And I laughed when I saw it, now the race had begun.

With wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
a Dream Team bike rider, was the next one to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his deed,
And pulled us all up, to a dizzying speed.

Then he turned with a jerk, his hand on his ass,
And giving a nod, he dared us to pass.

He sprang to his feet, to his team gave a sign,
And away they all flew, to the final sprint line.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he quickened his pace,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD RACE."